Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
