Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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