You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
