i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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