I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
