I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
