he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
