yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
