i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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