ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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