can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
