And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
