How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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