Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
