I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
