what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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