i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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