do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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