Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I cut my penus on the lid.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
