fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
