I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
