New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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