I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
