would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
