How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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