is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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