What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
