He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
