He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
