Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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