Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
