i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
