Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
