About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
