that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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