it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
