Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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