My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i drank out of a bidet.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
