NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
