Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
