garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize