the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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