The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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