tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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