I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
