I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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