I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
