he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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