I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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