bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
