I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
