Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
